Not Good Enough versus Being Enough

Okay, Let’s Go There… The Impostor Syndrome

The other day I was in a training and the topic of Impostor Syndrome came up. The class was filled with talented individuals – and most were venturing into the land of the unknown.  To be a participant in this class meant that you would be stretched. Challenged to do things you’ve never done before, and most would be operating outside their comfort zone… at least for some of the time.

The Impostor Syndrome was brought up as a potential barrier to performance. Believing it’s message… could slow us down, or take us off track. Simply acknowledging that it exists, and that it’s pretty normal (especially in high performers) was helpful.

 BEING ENOUGH…

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Are there times when you think:

  • you don’t do things good enough?
  • that you don’t do things right?
  • that you’re not enough just as you are?
  • that somehow you’ve “fooled them”?
  • “what if I make a mistake?”
  • “what if they find out, that I’m not really all that?

JUST BECAUSE YOU THINK A THOUGHT DOESN’T MAKE IT REAL

There’s an expression I’ve heard, “Don’t believe everything you think.”  It’s actually one of my favorites.  In working with people over the years I’ve seen how tortured they can become when they believe the thoughts they think. If left unchecked, we can get pushed around by our thoughts. We thought them… so they must be real right? (hmmm)

WHEN IT’S FUN

There are a lot of times I feel lucky to do the work that I do.  I’ve had the opportunity to work with some of the most wonderful and talented individuals.  Creative, resourceful, determined people.  Amazing contributors, innovators, and leaders.  It’s exciting just to listen to how their minds work! To hear about the challenges they’ve faced, and what they did to overcome them.

Many love what they do — and are focused on doing great things. They enjoy learning, growing, and stretching themselves. So this is the fun space… where know who we are, and what we do well! We go out, and we do it. Great!

WHEN IT’S NOT SO FUN

But what about times when we’re not in that fun space?   There are a lot of accomplished professionals that are walking around, silently believing that they are not enough. Not ________ enough. Good enough. Smart enough… Experienced enough… or just the vague sense of not-enoughness.

UNDERESTIMATING OUR VALUE

Whenever this comes up, the impression I get is… it’s like an A student believing that they are a C student.  But they’re not.

In the “real world” your boss is not going to give you a great review (an A on your paper) just because you’re “lucky”. You get an A because you studied. You worked for it. Because you are a skilled, talented individual. Because you, more than likely, ROCK at what you do… so much so that you may not even see it.

That’s right — the things we rock at, may be invisible to us. Or we take them for granted. Oh, that little thing I did… no big deal.

Many years ago I heard a trainer say that we may not recognize our greatest skills.  Over the years I’ve seen this to be true… for others and for myself.

Perhaps these things we do are so automatic, like breathing, that we fail to notice them. And yet they are there… if we look for them. Skills that, if we look for ways to further develop them … can be where we bring forth our greatest contributions.  Some have even suggested, that these skills, when developed even more, are the places where we become MASTERFUL.

So, yes, those “little things you do,” …those places where things come easy for you… like breathing…. yes… pay attention to them.

CHECK IT OUT

Please don’t assume that what you do is easy.

I am betting that you spent a great deal of time developing your talent. What comes easy to you, can be incredibly challenging for others.  Think of it like a duck floating on top of the water… they may look calm and cool on the surface… yet they are paddling like heck underneath.  You may not see how hard it is for them to do what comes natural to you.

OK… but what if it feels like you’re the duck?  If that’s the case… I would get real curious about if you are in a job that’s right for you. What are your skills? Interests? Are you really motivated to do that work? You might want to get a book, take a class, or work with someone on career development and assessment.

No matter which camp you are in… what’s important is:

 

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

Start to notice the good in your life.

When’s the last time you acknowledged how far you have come (not how far you think you have to go)?

  • Start to recognize what you’ve done well.
  • Keep track of your accomplishments.
  • Find the moments when you truly are enough. Feel what it’s like, and let it sink in.

Not only will this help you see what you’ve done, this can also be quite helpful when it’s time for a performance evaluation or job change.

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Call Angi @ 408-761-9458  

©  StrengthsMinded®  2013 – 2021

What Employers Look For

On a regular basis people ask me “What do employers want?” They wonder about:

  • What employers look for.

  • What to focus on in an interview.

  • What skills they need.

what employers look for

Skills Employers Want

I read this post from Daniel Goleman:

http://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20130707212115-117825785-the-emotional-intelligence-skills-employers-want-now

It stayed with me and got me thinking…

Employers screen for hard AND soft skills.

 
Working in Silicon Valley I remember there was a time when it was enough to be good at the technical (hard skills) part of the job. Over the years the bar was raised. Employers want both…. and when hiring people, I’ve certainly screened for both.
 
Before diving in… just a note to say that as with anything in employment (or with people for that matter) you will not get 100% agreement on any one topic. That includes the importance of EQ. There will be people who agree, and those who do not.
 
Over the years, many people have warmed up to the need for EQ/soft skills.  But some have not… I still come across them now and then.  So keep your eyes open for “what is trending now,”  and from the article we can see that EQ does play an important role in deciding who to hire. 

In behavioral interviewing employers are looking for your actual behaviors in work situations.  The idea is if you’ve done it before, you’ll do it again — in the positive or in the negative.  

Basically – they are wanting to Screen In those who will solve a problem/can do the job/provide them with solutions

They are looking to Screen Out those who can’t do the job or might cause them problems 

Employers are looking to hire someone that has the skills to do the job.  So they may ask you to tell them about a time when you’ve done certain things (handled a irritable customer, etc). Why?  They are trying to understand:

– what you can do (soft & hard skills)

– how well you do it (can you do what they need you to do)

– will you be able to work with them (interpersonal skills, people & culture fit)

Interview screeners can include:

  • How well you function under pressure.
  • How well you work on teams.
  • How you handle ambiguity.
  • How you fit with the organization and those involved.
  • How you would add value if you work there.

That said… remember you also want to make sure this is a place where you want to work, one that is a fit for you. And if you do, be prepared to show your technical AND interpersonal skills when interviewing. Things to consider…

  • Okay, you’re great technically, but how is your “user-friendly interface”? (your interpersonal skills)
  • Are you the kind of “kid” who gets along well with others on the “playground”? Or do you “run with scissors”??
  • As a leader do you inspire your staff, and motivate them to do their best?
  • When there is pressure on the job how do you handle it? How do you manage stress?
  

Welcome to the “soft side” of interviewing. If you decide you want the job, in addition to talking about your hard skills, it’s a good idea to weave in your soft skills:

  • Be prepared to show your level of emotional intelligence.
  • Prepare stories to share in interviews that demonstrate your EQ.
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Call Angi @ 408-761-9458  

©  StrengthsMinded®  2013 – 2021